http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/27825997/

This is an article on MSNBC on 11.21.08. An article like this sooo disturbing on so many levels. I feel like it produces outrage, sadness, disbelief and just a general sense of rage. In case you haven't read it, the article details the case of man who had a case brought against him by over 10 women claiming he date raped them. The first time he was tryed it was for 3 cases and he was acquitted and the second time he was tryed was for all 10 and he was basically given a slap on the wrist. There were a lot of factors and the article is actually great becuase they have experts talk about how juries often don't sympathize with rape victims and why. Though the article is disturbing, I am so glad they posted it. I was almost surprised that they chose to. It is just so disturbing to know that it is so easy for men to get away with a crime like date rape and that we are still today fighting so hard to be taken seriously after we are victimized. I had a lot of reaction to the article after putting it up in my gmail box and on Facebook, one male friend even said he wanted to find the guy and sodomize him and see how they guy took it.

Rape is I believe now considered a war crime when it's purpotrated against hundreds or thousands, but if it is just against a few women then it is considered some kind of joke. The defense (sickening I know that human beings could event defend this man's behavior) basically used the argument that he is a "playboy" and because they were at restaurants with alcohol it becuame all about the women wanting to go out and get drunk. Although I know this isn't an uncommon story, it is still horrifying, especially when you learn that the man had over 50 women listed in a "Calender of Women" on his computer. It is simply outrageous that these women were treated so poorly and that a man was basically treated as an innocent because he was considered a man with a raging libido. You can of course draw your own conclusions, but this was simply too upsetting for me to read and forget about. I tried to post it everywhere I could. I can only hope that when people read it they are more sympathetic to the cases of rape vicitms.

Effective Networking Tips from Missy Quinn

Missy Quinn, Director of Recruitment for Contemporary Staffing Solutions, spoke at the October YWTF Philly networking panel. She shared her wealth of expertise with those in attendance. Among the key tips she offered were:

1. Begin with a plan...Why are you attending?

2. Have your 30 second commercial prepared about yourself/your business. Make sure you've practiced so you come off confident.

3. Bring your business cards. Nothing should be crossed off on your card.

4. Wear a watch so you can keep track of time. Get what you can and the move on.

5. Try to get a list of the people who will be attending, then make a plan to meet them. Make sure you know something about their company/business.

6. Pass leads first. If you do, you will have it come back to you tenfold.

7. Name tags should be worn on the right side of your suit jacket so they're easily read when you shake hands.

8. Wear a suit jacket with two pockets or carry a business card case with two sections. Put their cards in the left pocket and your own cards in the right pocket.

9. Bring a small hand bag with a pen to give/get referrals.

10. If you go with a co-worker, spread out so you'll be able to make more contacts.

11. Make sure you keep your contact list updated.

12. Follow up by e-mail, phone, interest, coffee or lunch and have fun!

National Protest Against the Passage of Proposition 8

On Saturday, November 15th, progressive folks of all sexual orientations across the U.S. will be organizing locally at their respective city halls.  In excess of 250,00 people have already committed to participate in these protests across the country.  The arrangements for the D.C. protest are as follows:

The rally in the District of Colombia will start at 1:30 PM EST at the Capitol Reflecting Pool, on the eastern edge of the National Mall between 3rd and 1st Streets. We will tally there before proceeding up Constitution Avenue in the direction of the White House, and the event will conclude at the northeast corner of Lafayette Square.

For more info, email local organizer kellan.baker@gmail.com. The current estimated attendance for this event is 2,000 or more protesters.

- Nikki

To Be or Not to Be...Yourself

By: Erika Kelley


Pink’s new song, “So What,” where she says she’s still a rock star, has infiltrated the air waves and has me hooked on its singsongy intro and exorbitant amounts of energy. As I sang the lyrics in the car on my way home the other day, I sat back and tried to remember exactly when did she become a rock star? If my memory serves me correctly, she initially exploded on the scene as an R&B/Pop artist with the release of her album, Can’t Take Me Home. But, with her follow-up effort, M!ssundaztood, she changed her style, image, and sound. “Don’t Let Me Get Me,” shed some light on reasons behind her initial image: manufactured. Today, she’s an entirely different artist, with control of her career, devoid of feelings of puppetry.

I can’t help but ask myself why did Pink feel she had to succumb to her producers’ whims and demands in the first place…and as others might call it: sell out? In an article by Robert Hillburn, “Her Colors Don’t Run,” he explains that countless young pop stars share Pink’s feelings of puppetry in an age when record companies carefully shape their images and big-name producers make the creative decisions for them. Most go along because they are more interested in being stars than artists. Hillburn quotes Pink, “They know people are so hungry for stardom that they’ll just follow the record industry game. I know because I was ready to do anything when I started out.”

I found myself wondering is this the norm for females? Have I ever “sold out”…even temporarily? Not me. I’m too strong-willed and possess strong convictions. Well…there was that one time…I mean, there were those two times a few years back…

As I prepared for a nerve-racking interview, I struggled with what to wear. I decided to wear my hair in a tight bun complemented by glasses and simple jewelry. I fashioned a black pants suit with a white shirt and black heels. I distinctly remember feeling that this style of dress wasn’t reflective of my personality or fashion sense. However, I dressed this way because I was told it was “professional” and would help land me the position. Surely enough, management offered me the position. Once I was hired, I immediately abandoned the “interview look,” and opted for my typical “Erika look,” which generally consisted of the following:

A-line knee-length skirts with tights;
knee high-boots or 2-3 inch heels;
blazers matched with brightly-colored shirts;
spiral curls or sleek, straight hair; and
accessories, accessories, accessories (no glasses – only wear them when I’m driving).

Years later, I resorted to the same tactics to secure my current position. Like Pink, I had one goal in mind and resorted to compromising my style of dress and actually misleading the interview panel into thinking I was someone else (more conservative and serious versus contemporary and effervescent). However, once I got my foot in the door, I transformed to what was more appealing to me.

Is this right or wrong or simply the way of the world, and do men encounter the same issues?